Random Rantings of a Sarcastic Poet » roleplay

cravingoxygen — Wed, 16 Jul 2008 14:22:49 +0000

So here I am. Sorry I missed yesterday, but it was hectic. Strangely enough, even though I profess to hate going to music and that I want to quit it, I feel so much better after a music lesson than I do after an afternoon at home. Even if I am dog tired. Weird. Oh well.

Today was okay. Afrikaans was really boring. Biology was very boring too. We got our results and went through the tests. We were on the subject of red blood corpuscles and someone mentioned a vampire for some reason. Which made me wonder whether the blood of people with more erythrocytes would taste different to those with less. I asked the teacher and her opinion is that it probably will. Everyone looked at me strangely for quite some time afterwards. *shrug*

Maths was okay. Yesterday, I discovered that the teacher had made a mistake with the mark allocation which means that everyone got more for their exams. She marked the exam as though it was out of 100, when it was actually out of 84. Which reusulted in me being quite popular with the rest of the class (since those who failed previously now passed) and unpopular with her. Today she was dissing us quite badly, asking us a question and when we can’t answer her, then she’d say ‘Your marks are too high. Much too good’ in her cute Russian accent. Even though she was making idiots of us all, we still love her though : P She’s a sweetheart.

/me grins

English was way boring. So boring that my desk started looking very plain and empty, so it got a makeover. I can only draw two things: aliens and candles on fingers. So my english desk was the lucky winner of an alien drawing. The teacher will probably only notice the vandalism in a couple of days’ time. *shrug again*

Just got back from the library. Honestly, there is practically no good fiction in there. After browsing through there for like an hour, I finally discovered a set of three shelves with interesting books on them. Three shelves, for crying out loud! Out of the whole freaking library. *sigh* Oh well. I now have some pretty good books. An Eragon book. A couple of Robin Hobbs books. And some other sci-fi/mystery books.

Leon gets back tomorrow. The poor guy was booked off sick for the past week. Flu or something I think. I still wear the little ring thingy. And I got a silver one from my sister. So now I wear two. *grin* They saved me from a burnt hand the other day. We have a little fireplace/stove in the living room. I was playing around with it’s lid and accidently dropped it on my hand. Thankfully, the rings saved me from getting too burnt. lol. Who says jewelry is only for the vain : P

Kyle, the new dude in our class has been trying to figure me out all week. Unsuccessfully though. I think he’s trying to fit me into a mould or something. I don’t generally do very well with moulds though. lol. It’s absolutely hilarious the way I puzzle him.

I still havent been back on PS. I don’t know when I plan on going back. My mind isn’t any clearer. Maybe by next week. Maybe. It’s all just so confusing. *sigh* I think that one day I should get a job that doesn’t involve any people. People are what make your life complicated. If there weren’t any people then life would be so much easier. Don’t go and analyze that, I know that what I’m saying doesn’t make sense and isn’t practical. But still. Without other people, I wouldn’t have nearly so many problems. But whatever. I’ll just have to deal. The way I always do.

I have seriously been considering letting my marks die a miserable death. Who cares anyway. I’ll make sure I pass and keep my Maths and Science high enough to get somewhere, but, quite honestly, who cares.

My friends and I were standing around during break today and one of them mentioned that she didn’t like quiet people. She thinks that they are evil and are always just listening to everything and learning it or plotting something. Also that ’still waters run deep.’ Maybe she’s right. Nah, I don’t think I’m evil though. The rest might be true though. *evil grin* On a more serious note though, the whole little quote thing is very very true. My life could seem quite perfect. But it is soo not. If only they knew. But whatever.

Your Quiet Sarcastic Poet

cravingoxygen — Sun, 13 Jul 2008 10:53:14 +0000

Yeah.

So I’ll probably be around the whole day. I’ve decided to take a break from rping. And from almost every other form of internet communication including my emails, skyping and messenger. Only my blogs and facebook stays active for the next couple of days, maybe weeks. I need to get my head sorted out. As impossible as that might currently seem. And feels. And probably is. But I can try anyway. It might make me feel better.

No, don’t worry. I’m not really all that depressed. Just confused. I heard somewhere today that one of the signs of depression is loss in appetite. Well, no worries there then. I am hungry, I just don’t feel like eating. Oh great. That doesn’t sound very reassuring does it. Oh well. Deal.

I don’t know why I still bother opening up to people. All they ever do is hurt you. I should make like I use to: be friendly, but keep everyone at an arm’s length. Not that much chance of getting hurt if you do that. So I’ll just go into safe mode again, turn off the feelings and pain. Back to numbness. Which I had just managed to get over. Even though I know that being numb again is worse in the long term than feeling, I don’t even care. Numb takes everything away. Most of the time. Except in my dreams. But at least I have more than half of my 24 hours available then. I am actually mentally going through the motions of flicking switches. Switching off the sadness, the happiness, the anger, the hurt, the caring… my conscience stays though. I hate it sometimes, but I can’t bear switching it off. At least I still have that. Which means that I won’t turn into a serial killer or something. So the conscience has to stay. Don’t really mind all that much. That’s the one thing that’s always been there.

Numb again now. And still hungry. But I can’t be bothered with eating. I’ll probably be forced to later today anyway.

I don’t know how I survived without blogging the last couple of weeks. All I want to do right now is blog. I still think it’s addictive. Just googled it and the general consensus is yes. Honestly, where would we all be without google? We’d live our lives in the dark without any opinions on half of the things in the world. At least with google, we get to read other people’s opinions and then adopt them as our own (depending on who has the nicest fonts and graphics)… all in the name of education. Great isn’t it.

But back to the whole addictive thing, apparently is triggers the limbic system in the brain, which is the part of your brain that controls drives. Here’s the address if you’re interested:http://atlanta.creativeloafing.com/gyrobase/is_blogging_addictive_/Content?oid=496375

So I guess this means that you develop a ‘drive’ for blogging the same way you would for food or music (if you’re into that). Interesting.

cravingoxygen — Fri, 11 Jul 2008 12:15:16 +0000

Hello all
I’m in a pretty good mood today. Regardless of the fact that it is school again in less than three days, the fact that I still need to write the ceremony for tomorrow night, that I still have tons of piano practical and theory to do and the fact that I couldn’t upload a new header for the site last night. Wonder why. Maybe because it’s all cloudy and cold and windy outside. That usually makes me cheerful for some reason.

I think I’ll go outside with my cup of hot chocolate and try to write the ceremony. I have a pretty good ending already. That’s the way it usually goes… I think of the ending or the introduction but am kinda stuck on the middle part. But that’s okay. Hot chocolate has done wonders in the past, I’m sure it can do so again.

Got into major trouble this morning for using 90% of our bandwidth already and it’s only the 12th. I’m being forced to pay for more if I want to stay online. Which I do of course. So I am now even more broke than usual. But whatever.

My uncle and my dad are having a meeting. My uncle is a programmer and my dad does the electronic bits, so they make a pretty good team. My uncle is also really into rping, scifi, fantasy, etc. so the two of us are always on really good terms. /me grins. He’s one of the few people in our family who talks to me as though I am not 6 or something, (Since the rest of the kids in the family are in that age group), but as though I am an actual human being capable of intelligent thought. And since we are a big family, there isn’t enough space for me at the other table, I always get to sit with the little kids. Oh joy. At their table I get to hear all about the latest antics of Winnie the Pooh and Eyore and trying to keep them from spilling their drinks all over the table, while I could be hearing about latest programming languages or listening to discussions on capitalism or predictions of the country’s economical growth at the other table. Which is way more interesting than Winnie the Pooh I assure you.
/me sighs
Also, I think, my aunt kinda uses me as a baby sitter for the others. I’m pretty sure that I shall be sitting at that table until I’m 80. And no. I am not 10 or something myself right now. I am almost done with high school. I wonder if I will finally be able to take leave from that cursed table when I’m done with school. *sigh* I’ll be able to dye my hair then too… black with electric blue, dark purple and silver streaks….
But like I was saying about my uncle, he’s really cool. Him and my uncle from Cape Town. They are both willing to accept the fact that I am interested in computers too and are willing to explain to me if I don’t understand the conversation. My favourite pasttime is to just sit and listen to them all talk. I learn way more that way than I ever would at school. He used to live with us for a while, back when he was a bachelor, but although he’s married now, he hangs around here a lot for work. I certainly don’t complain.
His wife is really sweet too. She’s pregnant now, with a little girl. I have decided that I shall adopt the baby as my favourite cousin and ensure that she is well-versed in the ways of the rper. : P

But whatever. I really have to go write that ceremony speech thing now. So bye. For now.

Your Ceremony-Writing Sarcastic Poet

cravingoxygen — Thu, 10 Jul 2008 21:26:59 +0000

Hey all

So. This is my first proper post on this blog, the others were all construction notices or were brought over from Blogger. Now, for some ranting…

Pfft. I’m sure I’ve mentioned at some stage that I want an older brother. What? I haven’t mentioned it before? Well, now you know. I’ve always wanted an older brother. But pfft to that. Quite frankly, I have decided that there are more than enough guys around to irritate me as is.
This morning, I was still in bed around 11:30 due to my browsing and rping habits. Of course though, I can’t be left alone to sleep in peace can I? … There’s a knock on my door. Knowing that it’s Leon, I shout a very clear no. Which, of course, he ignores and he enters without further ado. Then, he has the cheek to ask whether I’m asleep.
There I am, in pajamas, with my hair wild, very barely awake, and he just strolls in there. So me, being very sweet, says “Well, um, duh. I am now.” He laughs and says he just wanted to say hello, sits down and tells me about the weather or something and walks out again.
Being the weird person that I am, I couldn’t go back to sleep again, so I got up, went to the mirror and started brushing my hair. The fact that he left my room doesn’t mean that he won’t come back in and, typically, he promptly does so. All I can say is that I am very thankful that it is winter here and that I was not wearing my summer pajamas…which are very… not lacey exactly, but…you get the idea.

Later, when I was more awake and in a better mood, he came back and we started chatting. He had picked up a small, golden ring outside that used to come on the top of a pipe or something and I jacked it from him first chance I got. He threatened to take the harmonica that lies on my desk when I wouldn’t give him the ring back, but of course he didn’t. So now I have a cute little ring that only comes up to my finger’s first joint. But it looks cool enough.

I have decided that I really should go back to school. You see, school has two purposes:
1. To keep us all from turning into pleasantly numb vegetable (see previous posts) and
2. To keep us from figuring out how to overthrow the government and/or achievie world domination.
I was suffering from the former yesterday. Well, actually, suffer isn’t quite the right word. I enjoy it whole heartedly. And the latter today. Maybe not world domination just yet… but I was thinking about whether mercury could be used to induce insanity. I heard that from somewhere and I was wondering whether you would need continuous doses or just once-off. I mean, if you wanted to ruin someone in power’s reputation by making him seem crazy…Don’t worry though. Apparently, it doesn’t make you crazy, exactly, it just builds up inside you (since it’s a heavy metal or something) and then you eventually get cancer and die. After messing you up. Not that I was actually planning on using it even if it would have worked. I’m not that messed up. But now you see why school had better start pretty soon. Even though I love the whole go-to-bed-at-7-in-the-morning-and-get-up-at-12 thing. Pity it doesn’t work during school. But whatever. A lot safer that way.

Might post again later. After all, the night is still young. It’s only 11:30…

Your local Sarcastic Poet

cravingoxygen — Thu, 15 May 2008 19:13:00 +0000

Long time no see…Hey. So… had a big IT test today. Got 59/61. After going to bed at half past eleven last night. School just never lets up, does it? Got a huge Accounting project, Science test, Science homework, Maths homework (Which I better do…), a summary about muscle tissue for Biology, Afrikaans test, LO test… *Sigh*

So the guy I like is officially gone now. He came to say goodbye today. For the last time. At least he looked really happy to see me. And he told me a couple of days ago that I have beautiful eyes.

My aunt and uncle are here. They were just relating the romantic story of how they met. Sometimes I wonder whether I will ever meet the right guy. Whether he even exists.
/me shrugs

And then I met this girl online. She’s currently the girlfriend of a guy who ‘adopted’ me as his sister online. The problem is, that she is totally in love with him. But she has been through some really horrible things in her life before and doesn’t want to get hurt again. Even worse, he hasn’t shown his face online for more than a week now… apparently his pc broke. And to make it worse… she declared her love for him in rl. He said that he loved her in rl too. But then his pc broke… and even though he said that he would be back by Monday, it’s Thursday and we still haven’t seen him. And then on top of this, this girl knows really mean people who do things to her that they have absolutely no right to do.
And the only thing that I can do about it is to be there for her when she needs a virtual hug or to rant or cry with or at someone. This girl has become like a sister to me and I can’t stand seeing her hurt the way that she is now. If I could just take all her hurt away, even if I had to have it, I would do it. I just can’t stand not being able to do something like this. At least, I hope I’m making a difference by being there for her. She once told me that my email made her smile the whole day and another time that I’m the friend she always needed, but never had. I hope that I’m at least making a dent in helping her somehow.

Last night was really scary. You see, my stepmom is in hospital for an operation and we went to visit. And I was just having these flashbacks. You see, my mom was a kidney patient, so she was in hospital regularly. Which meant that we were there to visit her regularly. Which means that I can find my way around pretty much any hospital seeing as I spent a large part of my primary school life in them.
So anyway… wherever we went, there were like stuff that reminded me so much of myself a couple of years back. There were like these really cute kids with their grandparents, waiting for who knows what; the typical image of me and my sister with our grandparents waiting for my mom a couple of years back.
And hospitals always seem to have these type of couches that look really pretty, but are way overstuffed and aren’t really comfortable at all. Well, we always used to sit on those playing with our parent’s cellphones while they talked. And of course the hospital was tiled. Like the hospital my mom was in when she taught us hop-scotch on the tiles. And there was the freaking pharmacy with boxes of practical jokes for sale on the counter. It was just really unsettling. And the hospital was in Pretoria, same as the one my mom was in.
I was quiet all the way back home. It’s like this just stirred up all those memories that I don’t even know whether I want or not. At times, it’s like I just want to forget it all, but I know that I can’t and somewhere deep inside I know that I don’t want to. Then I wouldn’t be me, I guess. Call me lame and emo if you want.
It was all just so tragic.

So. I still have Science to study and Maths and Bio to do. So I’ll go run a bubble bath and go sit there with my Science textbook. Then I’ll finish my summary and go to bed. Hopefully before 10:30. Over and out…

Your Local Bubble-Bath-Wanting Sarcastic Poet

cravingoxygen — Mon, 28 Apr 2008 14:27:00 +0000

HeyIt feels like my heart’s just been broken. No, it feels like my heart’s been ripped out, torn into little pieces, tossed into boiling water, cooked with a head of cabbage, filtered out, splatted onto cement and then stomped on. Yes, more like that. *sigh*

We’ve got this whole week off school ’cause of all the public holidays in it. So here I am, moping around. The light of my life is gone, the Planeshift server is down and I have piano tomorrow. *sigh again* On top of that, I can’t even have a hot bath since we’re still working from the generator. Also, I have that Bio project and a huge IT theory test. Isn’t life just great.

Enough with the pity party, it’s not going to make me feel any better is it…
So. Yeah. Um.
I’ve found this great song. It’s been on my playlist for ages and now I’ve rediscovered it. It’s called Baby Love. It’s really good. Today I Facebooked for a while, browsed around the Planeshift forums for a while seeing as their server is down, practiced piano, made an attempt at tidying my bedroom, read some of Lord of the Rings, blinked, breathed, talked, ate, etc. Nothing particularly
interesting. You might, however be interested in knowing this: my rp character is getting married! To a guy named Trakai. He is so sweet. There is this gazibo, okay and he went and mined tons of rubies and emeralds and diamonds and then decorated the whole gazibo. He also got, like, the most expensive hide in the game for us to sit on. And then he eventually proposed to Reea. How sweet is that?Not that sweet really helps against heartache, I guess. I’m not even back in school yet and I’m already miserable. I’m not very interesting today. Haven’t been for the past couple of days either. Well cry a river, build a bridge and get over it. (Thank goodness no-one’s reading this).

Well, I’m gonna go before I cause some permanent damage to ya’ll’s ears with all my whining.

Your Sarcastic Poet with a Ripped-Out-Torn-Tossed-Boiled-with-Cabbage-Filtered-Splatted-Stomped-On Heart

cravingoxygen — Sat, 19 Apr 2008 15:43:00 +0000

Hey six big fat zerosSorry I haven’t posted for a while, it’s been hectic. So, I did the IT project till about 12 the night before it was due. Yeah, I know, Student’s Syndrome. Then I lay awake till about 2, crying. I think it was a mixture of exhaustion, PMS and stress. Needless to say, the next morning it looked like my eyes had gone shopping the night before and I had to scramble like crazy to get rid of the worst of the bags. I was really tired for the rest of the day, even though the rest of the day was cool.

We started with assembly, which was actually interesting for a change, then a free of which I bunked about half. Then Science for which we were supposed to go upstairs to the computer classroom and do the work which the teacher had left for us (Since she had gone early), but it was really full and there weren’t enough chairs, so most of the Science students bunked and sat in the empty English class to work. The computer teacher didn’t even notice, lol.

After that Bio, during which I didn’t make any plans to overthrow the government, democracy or the free world the way I normally do, since I was too tired. Then double maths but, since the teacher wasn’t there, the maths literacy class was also there, which was dope. We sat in the front and they sat at the back. I started waking up roundabout then. At second break I realized that I was actually hungry (since I hadn’t eaten for the whole day) and had my lunch. Then we had English which I managed to bunk most of by making photocopies. We have an oral to do in which one of us has to be a character and the other conducts an interview. *Stifle the yawn please* Then we got dismissed early since the Accounting teacher wasn’t there, which means that we were hanging around the school for a good hour.

Then the guy that I like and I went to IT. We handed in our projects and had the lesson. My mom was late, though, so I got to walk around the school and chat with him for almost twenty minutes with a good excuse. He still regards me as his sister, though and freaking asks my advice. Still. *Sigh*

Then I role-played till about half past one (yes, in the morning). I’ve met this really nice guy and my character is going out with him. Last night we went on a double date and then he took me to this cute little kazibo to chat. He is so sweet. He, like, got his friends to make sure that no-one bothered us and everything. Not as though it helped, though. Some guy still nothered us. They killed him for it. He’ll be okay, don’t worry.

Today I went to the zoo, since my parents are trying to get me away from the computer and my own company lol. We saw tons of animals and now my feet hurt. The tiger cage was really
cool. There was
a tiger standing right next to the area that we were standing in (on the other side of the fence, obviously). Then two idiots decided to hop over the closed off area and go stand right in front of the tiger. Two really hot idiots. Unfortunately, they’re goths. I’m not really into goths, though I do think that they’re seriously hot.

I’ve decided to pray for them both. Every day. But anyway… so we were buying refreshments when I saw this girl. She was looking at me, so I smiled at her. She smiled back and then kept looking at me. After a while, she and her friend came towards me. Now me, being the
idiot that I
sometimes tend to be, had taken The Lord of the Rings with me. lol. It turns out that she loves books and we ended up exchanging numbers. So how’s that for socializing… talking to a complete stranger. Take that ya’ll shrinks.

We’re about to go watch a movie. Then I’ll probably roleplay some more with me character’s special friend… lol. Oh well, sweet dreams.

Your Socially-Adept-for-a-Change and Sarcastic Poet

cravingoxygen — Mon, 14 Apr 2008 20:18:00 +0000

Hi allSorry I skipped yesterday, but it was hectic. And I only have a few minutes tonight – I am dead tired.

So yesterday was the big guild meeting. It was hilarious. My one friend is a drunk and always has beer on him. He was giving beer away and waving it around all the time. He wouldn’t stand still either, lol. The other guy kept asking our ‘great, respected leader’ stupid questions and then telling her to hurry up. And the whole place was decorated with crystals and diamonds. To top it all, I was promoted to the next rank in front of the whole (active) guild.
Afterwards, we all went to the tavern and had a party. Half the people were dancing on the tables and the other half were getting free drinks from my drunk friend.

Yesterday, I also went to church and saw two of my good friends again. For safety’s sake, I’ll call them V and C. C used to be a drug lord and V used to be on drugs like hectic, but now they’re both clean. It was cool to see them again, I missed them.

So, today was the first day of school. School was okay, I guess. We actually worked (stifle the shock please). I got the results for a scientific report I did and I didn’t do as well as I’d hoped. But never mind that. Afrikaans was boring, in English we had to sit outside since the lights kept tripping. In Life Orientation we got our term marks and chatted. I can’t believe that I managed to do well, since I hate that subject, lol. Science we started with the physics part for the year and (thankfully) finished graphs. I hate graphs almost as much as LO. I still have the huge IT project, but apparently, it’s not that huge after all. The guy I like (who takes IT with me) phoned the teacher to ask what we were actually supposed to do.I practiced piano for a good hour or so and then gave up. The teacher will just have to be happy with what I did. I also Role-played for a good few hours. My char finally got herself a boyfriend. The guy is really nice and is a lot better at rping than most people I’ve seen. Which is good, since I love rping.
I also met his boss, who is also really nice. She is really good. And strong. Unlike certain people…

Oh well, my eyes are closing as I write this, so I’m going to finish now. Maybe I’ll have the energy to be sarcastic again tomorrw, lol. Too tired now…

Your Too-Tired-to-be-Sarcastic Poet

cravingoxygen — Sat, 12 Apr 2008 21:44:00 +0000

Hey again.And yes, it is really quarter to twelve. And it is two days before school starts. So much for my whole let’s-get-my-sleeping-pattern-right idea.

Today was cool enough. I totally gave up on doing homework for today and instead went shopping. Actually, I was kinda forced into the shopping thing. We went looking for needlework for my mom to turn into a cushion. We didn’t find any, but I did find two books. Of which the one is brilliant. I finished it today. I’m saving the other one for a rainy day. And now I am once more broke for the next two months and all that money I worked for is gone. Something tells me that I’m going to be spending a whole lot of time with cables and side cutters for the next couple of weeks to keep myself from financial ruin. Wait, I’m already in a permanent state of financial ruin. Thanks to my expensive hobbies,
books and computers. Which my parents are willing to support, but not finance.

So the one book is called Wormwood and I haven’t read it. The second is the second book in The Mark of the Lion series. It’s the one in which the girl finally gets her happily ever after. In a way, I dislike happliy ever afters. They have a way of ending your favourite character’s adventures really abruptly and finally. That just irritates me sometimes. In my opinion, the author should never end a story in such a way that there is no way for the hero/heroine to have more adventures. Also, there should preferably still be some mystery as to the person who the hero/heroine falls in love with. If they get married at the end of the book, that just totally tends to cut their sense of adventure. Engaged is still okay, but definitely not married, if it can be helped.
Another thing: you shouldn’t have a series in which the main character is single for the first two or three books and then he/she suddenly falls in love with a totally new character in the fourth book or something. If the author really wants something like that to happen, then it should be a well-known, already-existent character. Maybe the new character can still be brought in in the second book, possibly in the third, but definitely no later than that. Maybe that’s just me. Not that the book I read needed this criticism. This was just a general observation.

Yesterday my mom bought a humungus (is that even a word?) bag of chillis. As in really hot chillis. As in, an 8 on the official scale of chillis from 1 – 10. Thank goodness there wasn’t a bag of tens. [FYI The hottest chillis in the world are called habaneros. They look really harmless, but appearances never meant very much... they rank a 10]
Now, my dad loves chillis. His cure-all is chillis. If you have a cold, you should eat chillis. If you have a headache, you should chillis. If you’re feeling depressed, you should eat chillis… and so on. You get the idea. Now, back to the back of chillis: So since we have an enormous bag of chillis, my mom decided that we should turn it into some kind of chilli jam (??Don’t ask me??). So for a good part of the afternoon, I was chopping up chillis. Now wait for it: My hands are burning from the chilli-chopping. Don’t laugh, it’s really painful. Typing hurts. No-one believes me though, lol. Not surprised. Maybe it’s some kind of psychosomatic (I hope the spelling is right) disorder. Who knows The big guild meeting was postponed to tomorrow. But that’s okay, cause I finally made peace with planeshift. It wasn’t the quests tripping each other up, it was my own mistake. Yes, I am in a good enough mood to admit it. I just needed to ask the one guy something before giving him the item and I had to tell the other guy that someone or other sent me. Go ahead and laugh.

I was supposed to practice piano today and I did, all except for one piece. It’s really intimidating. It’s full of demi-semiquavers and semiquavers and triplets and tied notes and dotted notes. If you have no idea what that means, I have very good advice for you. Ignorance is bliss. Don’t ever be stupid enough to get yourself into this kind of situation. Why couldn’t I just go for the nice easy piece next to the hard one? Me and my stupid stubborness.

Oh well, goodnight. It’s already ten past twelve and there’s church tomorrow. And my freaking messed up sleeping routine. lol.

Your local (or not so local) Sarcastic Poet

cravingoxygen — Thu, 10 Apr 2008 21:19:00 +0000

Hey allI don’t know why I even bother writing as though there is someone reading this, since my
really nice hit counter still has lot’s of big fat zeros in it. Oh well.

Today I started by convincing myself to do some of my Biology. That’s how desperate I was. I did the easiest part. I didn’t feel like reading or piano or planeshift. I’ve been off planeshift for the past couple
of days. You see, you’re only supposed to do, like 3 quests at a time. Maximum. But, since many are still glitchy, I have, like nine or ten open. The problem is, that they trip each other up. And I’ve travelled for like an hour to get to this place to finish a quest, but the freaking thing trips up!!! I’ll make peace with it on Saturday and try a few other ways. I’ll have to since our guild’s big meeting is then. 12:00 GMT, 15:00 my time.

So there. Now that’s off my chest.

Having nothing better to do, I made some more cables and I have now earned R109. Which might actually buy a decent book. After making those, Leon threw me out. Apparently he wanted to make an ‘important call.’ Yeah right. Anyway, he was bored for the rest of the day and chilled with me in my room.
He had so much work last night that he was supposed to take some home to finish, but instead of working, he went to a raid on World of Warcraft. They were, like, 3 people and they totally wasted the Horde! Like 400 – 480 kills! By three people! So then he had to work till like 3 in the morning. lol. Serves him right.
He says he’ll ask his friend, the really smart single one, to copy World of Warcraft for me so that I can play too. That would be really cool. I’ve browsed it, and I’ve decided that if I were to play, I’d be a Blood Elf Mage. That would be really cool.

I’ve been listening to this brilliant song, Love is Wicked. The poetry in there is amazing. It uses gorgeous imagery. I quote:

Running around I just can’t get through my day
Thoughts of you just keep consuming me
I thought I could do it but now I see
That you’re not mine and I was wrong to think you’d change

And then some more:

Tears on my pillow ’cause your love is wicked
Cry me a river ’cause your love is wicked
Friends come around say your love is wicked
But the kisses what you get, don’t you know it’s wickedWhat must I go do to get over you
Anybody have a remedy or a cure?
Someone call a doctor or emergency crew
‘Cause me carry feeling for you, for you

That’s just some of it. It’s gorgeous though. That line ‘Cry me a river ’cause your love is wicked’ just captures what she must feel like so perfectly. I’m not going to analyze it any further though, I do enough of that in English. Which I’m going back to on Monday.*sigh*

I don’t feel like half a broken easter egg with my hole of an inside showing any more. Now it’s more like a boredom that’s not there because you don’t have anything to do, it’s there because you have so much that you should do and tons that you can do, but you don’t feel like doing any of it. I wonder what that can be compared to.
…
…
…
Oh who cares. You catch my drift anyway.

I wonder what I’m gonna do with my money. I could buy a book. I could save up for a new motherboard. I could buy a big bag of biltong with it. I could buy a stack of books at a second-hand bookshop. I could pay off may library fine. I could save it. Naaah. Never mind that last one. I think I’ll take the second-hand bookshop option. Unless some more suddenly materializes. Which I sort of doubt. Wait! I could always buy the HitchHiker’s Guide to the Galaxy.

Why is it that the first star that you see isn’t the brightest? I mean, if it wasn’t the brightest, why is it the first that you see? Oh well. Maybe I’ll right some more on this subject later.

I know what I want to do. I’ll read some good science fiction while I listen to some depressing love songs.

You know what really sucks? Having a guy that you totally love, but he doesn’t know it. Also, there are tons of reasons that it won’t work. I am totally head over heels for this one guy in my class. He is brilliant at Mathematics. And science when he wants to be. He’s really nice too. There are tons of problems though.
First of all, he’s black and I’m white. I don’t discriminate, but there is no way that my parents will even consider letting me go out with him. And I really don’t want to do it behind their back.
Secondly, my friends are really strict about the fact that you shouldn’t go out with your friend’s ex.
Thirdly, he’s a really great guy and I don’t want to risk it that this doesn’t work out and that our friendship is messed up.
Fourthly he regards me as his sister. You can see that in the way that he hugs me (no I’m not a stalker). He hugs his girlfriend in a certain way, his friends that are girls in a certain way and his friends that are girls but are so close that they’re practically his sisters in a different way. I’m in the last category.
Fifth(ly?): we once had this conversation regarding whether or not you would date your friends. Guess what he said. So there is no way, since he totally considers me his freaking sister from another mother.
Sixth, he has a girlfriend. And what’s worse, is that he comes to me for advice when things between aren’t what they should be. And in the meantime, I’m freaking in love with him. At least I do a good job of hiding it, I guess.

On the other hand, we have like almost all of our classes together. We even take IT as an extra subject after school together. We are freaking inseperable in Maths class. I sit on the one side of the class and he sits on the other side. Whenever we have work to do, though, we are constantly at each other’s desks. The teacher actually asked us why we don’t just sit together and stop bothering the rest by walking around. lol. Whenever we’re revising, she makes us sit at the back together so that we don’t start gesturing at each other across the class when we get inspiration. lol.
Also, he really does care about me. Listen to this, it’s so sweet. Don’t tell my parents, though, they’d freak.

All my friends consider me really sweet and innocent. I don’t drink, but not for the reasons they think. It’s not that I don’t like it, or that I’m too scared and/or innocent, or that I’m not allowed to or anything. It’s just that I have to make a stand for my prinsciples in some way and by not getting drunk when the rest of them are, I do that. I’m the one who you can always trust at a party, because I don’t drink. It’s just a lot easier not to get yourself drunk if you don’t drink at all, rather than to try to only drink responsibly. Not that I mind alcohol, but if I start drinking now, they’d regard it as me giving up my prinsciples. So, I don’t drink.
They don’t know all this though.
They’re just really nice about it and since I am probably the most innocent of all of them and they’re really nice, they’re forever trying their best not to get me into trouble by trying not to be late for class and helping me find my lost homework and not pressurizing me into drinking and buying cooldrink just for me when they’re having alcohol. Now the guy I like is so sweet that he even tries not to swear in front of me or play explicit songs or anything.
So now you have the background, here’s the story:

So we were, like six girls and four guys. Only three of the girls stayed for the sleepover, though. Of these the one girl, Hazel, was totally gone. She was sitting down on the floor and sulking under the tables and stuff. The guys weren’t drunk yet, they were saving themselves for the bottle of vodka that they had, but didn’t want to share with the rest of the people. Anyway, the one guy, Mimbi, mixed about quarter a glass of Red Square Blue with as much vodka and was trying to convince Hazel to down it.
My friend, Agnes and I let her taste it, but since her alcohol tolerance is really low, we took it away from her. She was really upset about it, though, as was Mbimbi. Whenever we put the glass down, one of them would take it, so I ended up carrying the stupid freaking glass around everywhere. So there I was holding this glass with fizzy, blue alcohol spiked with vodka while I was talking to one of my other friends.
Now the guy I like had been outside with his girlfriend and when he came in, he saw me holding this glass and laughing. He must have thought I was drunk. His face went like all hard and angry and asked what was in the glass and where I got it. I explained that it was Red Square Blue that Mbimbi spiked with vodka. If he wasn’t black, I swear he would’ve gone red. He was totally getting all angry and getting ready to beat the other guy, who’s like one of his best friends, up!
Maybe he was just mad that the other guy had taken out the vodka early, but on the other hand…
And he wasn’t drunk, in case you’re wondering. He actually drinks responsibly. He’s the only
one of the other guys who weren’t drunk later that night.
He’s really sweet. He’s probably the only person that I can actually have an intelligent conversation with in the whole class. No offense to anyone else. They’re all really great, but not into computers or maths.

So you tell me, do we stand a chance? Don’t answer that.

Okay. My soppy lovestruck moment is over. Thank goodness no-one is actually reading this.

Your local Sarcastic and apparently lovestruck Poet