Random Rantings of a Sarcastic Poet » money

cravingoxygen — Thu, 10 Apr 2008 21:19:00 +0000

Hey allI don’t know why I even bother writing as though there is someone reading this, since my
really nice hit counter still has lot’s of big fat zeros in it. Oh well.

Today I started by convincing myself to do some of my Biology. That’s how desperate I was. I did the easiest part. I didn’t feel like reading or piano or planeshift. I’ve been off planeshift for the past couple
of days. You see, you’re only supposed to do, like 3 quests at a time. Maximum. But, since many are still glitchy, I have, like nine or ten open. The problem is, that they trip each other up. And I’ve travelled for like an hour to get to this place to finish a quest, but the freaking thing trips up!!! I’ll make peace with it on Saturday and try a few other ways. I’ll have to since our guild’s big meeting is then. 12:00 GMT, 15:00 my time.

So there. Now that’s off my chest.

Having nothing better to do, I made some more cables and I have now earned R109. Which might actually buy a decent book. After making those, Leon threw me out. Apparently he wanted to make an ‘important call.’ Yeah right. Anyway, he was bored for the rest of the day and chilled with me in my room.
He had so much work last night that he was supposed to take some home to finish, but instead of working, he went to a raid on World of Warcraft. They were, like, 3 people and they totally wasted the Horde! Like 400 – 480 kills! By three people! So then he had to work till like 3 in the morning. lol. Serves him right.
He says he’ll ask his friend, the really smart single one, to copy World of Warcraft for me so that I can play too. That would be really cool. I’ve browsed it, and I’ve decided that if I were to play, I’d be a Blood Elf Mage. That would be really cool.

I’ve been listening to this brilliant song, Love is Wicked. The poetry in there is amazing. It uses gorgeous imagery. I quote:

Running around I just can’t get through my day
Thoughts of you just keep consuming me
I thought I could do it but now I see
That you’re not mine and I was wrong to think you’d change

And then some more:

Tears on my pillow ’cause your love is wicked
Cry me a river ’cause your love is wicked
Friends come around say your love is wicked
But the kisses what you get, don’t you know it’s wickedWhat must I go do to get over you
Anybody have a remedy or a cure?
Someone call a doctor or emergency crew
‘Cause me carry feeling for you, for you

That’s just some of it. It’s gorgeous though. That line ‘Cry me a river ’cause your love is wicked’ just captures what she must feel like so perfectly. I’m not going to analyze it any further though, I do enough of that in English. Which I’m going back to on Monday.*sigh*

I don’t feel like half a broken easter egg with my hole of an inside showing any more. Now it’s more like a boredom that’s not there because you don’t have anything to do, it’s there because you have so much that you should do and tons that you can do, but you don’t feel like doing any of it. I wonder what that can be compared to.
…
…
…
Oh who cares. You catch my drift anyway.

I wonder what I’m gonna do with my money. I could buy a book. I could save up for a new motherboard. I could buy a big bag of biltong with it. I could buy a stack of books at a second-hand bookshop. I could pay off may library fine. I could save it. Naaah. Never mind that last one. I think I’ll take the second-hand bookshop option. Unless some more suddenly materializes. Which I sort of doubt. Wait! I could always buy the HitchHiker’s Guide to the Galaxy.

Why is it that the first star that you see isn’t the brightest? I mean, if it wasn’t the brightest, why is it the first that you see? Oh well. Maybe I’ll right some more on this subject later.

I know what I want to do. I’ll read some good science fiction while I listen to some depressing love songs.

You know what really sucks? Having a guy that you totally love, but he doesn’t know it. Also, there are tons of reasons that it won’t work. I am totally head over heels for this one guy in my class. He is brilliant at Mathematics. And science when he wants to be. He’s really nice too. There are tons of problems though.
First of all, he’s black and I’m white. I don’t discriminate, but there is no way that my parents will even consider letting me go out with him. And I really don’t want to do it behind their back.
Secondly, my friends are really strict about the fact that you shouldn’t go out with your friend’s ex.
Thirdly, he’s a really great guy and I don’t want to risk it that this doesn’t work out and that our friendship is messed up.
Fourthly he regards me as his sister. You can see that in the way that he hugs me (no I’m not a stalker). He hugs his girlfriend in a certain way, his friends that are girls in a certain way and his friends that are girls but are so close that they’re practically his sisters in a different way. I’m in the last category.
Fifth(ly?): we once had this conversation regarding whether or not you would date your friends. Guess what he said. So there is no way, since he totally considers me his freaking sister from another mother.
Sixth, he has a girlfriend. And what’s worse, is that he comes to me for advice when things between aren’t what they should be. And in the meantime, I’m freaking in love with him. At least I do a good job of hiding it, I guess.

On the other hand, we have like almost all of our classes together. We even take IT as an extra subject after school together. We are freaking inseperable in Maths class. I sit on the one side of the class and he sits on the other side. Whenever we have work to do, though, we are constantly at each other’s desks. The teacher actually asked us why we don’t just sit together and stop bothering the rest by walking around. lol. Whenever we’re revising, she makes us sit at the back together so that we don’t start gesturing at each other across the class when we get inspiration. lol.
Also, he really does care about me. Listen to this, it’s so sweet. Don’t tell my parents, though, they’d freak.

All my friends consider me really sweet and innocent. I don’t drink, but not for the reasons they think. It’s not that I don’t like it, or that I’m too scared and/or innocent, or that I’m not allowed to or anything. It’s just that I have to make a stand for my prinsciples in some way and by not getting drunk when the rest of them are, I do that. I’m the one who you can always trust at a party, because I don’t drink. It’s just a lot easier not to get yourself drunk if you don’t drink at all, rather than to try to only drink responsibly. Not that I mind alcohol, but if I start drinking now, they’d regard it as me giving up my prinsciples. So, I don’t drink.
They don’t know all this though.
They’re just really nice about it and since I am probably the most innocent of all of them and they’re really nice, they’re forever trying their best not to get me into trouble by trying not to be late for class and helping me find my lost homework and not pressurizing me into drinking and buying cooldrink just for me when they’re having alcohol. Now the guy I like is so sweet that he even tries not to swear in front of me or play explicit songs or anything.
So now you have the background, here’s the story:

So we were, like six girls and four guys. Only three of the girls stayed for the sleepover, though. Of these the one girl, Hazel, was totally gone. She was sitting down on the floor and sulking under the tables and stuff. The guys weren’t drunk yet, they were saving themselves for the bottle of vodka that they had, but didn’t want to share with the rest of the people. Anyway, the one guy, Mimbi, mixed about quarter a glass of Red Square Blue with as much vodka and was trying to convince Hazel to down it.
My friend, Agnes and I let her taste it, but since her alcohol tolerance is really low, we took it away from her. She was really upset about it, though, as was Mbimbi. Whenever we put the glass down, one of them would take it, so I ended up carrying the stupid freaking glass around everywhere. So there I was holding this glass with fizzy, blue alcohol spiked with vodka while I was talking to one of my other friends.
Now the guy I like had been outside with his girlfriend and when he came in, he saw me holding this glass and laughing. He must have thought I was drunk. His face went like all hard and angry and asked what was in the glass and where I got it. I explained that it was Red Square Blue that Mbimbi spiked with vodka. If he wasn’t black, I swear he would’ve gone red. He was totally getting all angry and getting ready to beat the other guy, who’s like one of his best friends, up!
Maybe he was just mad that the other guy had taken out the vodka early, but on the other hand…
And he wasn’t drunk, in case you’re wondering. He actually drinks responsibly. He’s the only
one of the other guys who weren’t drunk later that night.
He’s really sweet. He’s probably the only person that I can actually have an intelligent conversation with in the whole class. No offense to anyone else. They’re all really great, but not into computers or maths.

So you tell me, do we stand a chance? Don’t answer that.

Okay. My soppy lovestruck moment is over. Thank goodness no-one is actually reading this.

Your local Sarcastic and apparently lovestruck Poet

cravingoxygen — Wed, 09 Apr 2008 18:00:00 +0000

Hey allCan you believe it? It’s wednesday. More accurately, this was Wednesday. School starts Monday. And I still have a big biology project and two IT projects that I still haven’t done. After, like, three weeks of holidays. I really should do them, I guess, but I really don’t feel lke it. Big surprise there.Never mind that though. Today was cool enough I guess. I spent the morning cleaning my room (again). It might actually win something after today’s cleanup. I then spent some time browsing for some nice junk to put on my blog, but eventually only came up with an invisible hit counter and a Madam and Eve cartoon. I originally considered a Zapiro cartoon, but there was something wrong with the server and whatever. Zapiro is the most brilliant political cartoonist in the world, in my opinion. He isn’t biased at all. If you act like an idiot, he’ll make you look like an idiot. If your rivals act like idiots, they’ll be made to look like idiots. Like my favourite quote (Which you can find in the left-hand column) says “We are all idiots.” lol
The rest of the stuff out there was mainly useless, colourful junk.

I then went to go help Leon with some cables. You see, we have an electronic engineering business and on the side we make cables for certain companies.
Well today, them crazy people decided to place a huge order of a couple of hundred cables (really complex ones mind you) due tomorrow! Like that’s gonna happen any time soon. So, having nothing better to do, I went to go help Leon, the guy who makes them. It was cool: I got to irritate him and make money at the same time. True, my fingers are half raw and it hurts to type, but what the hey. I make R60-70. Which is not something to turn one’s nose up at all you rich americans and english people. When your monthly pocket money is spent the month before and you still owe money on top of that, R65 can do a lot. True, it can’t buy a new motherboard or more ram or probably even a good book, but still. Every little bit helps.
So I was sitting there innocently making cables and I ask Leon why he has two silver bangles presticked to the wall. Apparently, they belonged to his girlfriend. Him!! Have a girlfriend! No offense, but all he’s interested in is World of Warcraft, downloading, dragons, sleeping and eating. And probably breathing. I had no idea that he could be interested in girls. Luckily, he also hates reading, so the chances of him finding this are, like, 0.000000001.Leon says he’ll bring me WoW and help me ingame. He also told me about his one friend. He is, like, really smart and good at computers. He’s also good at drawing, has a sense of humour and he’s single. Hm…. Unfortunately, he’s 21. Turning 22 this weekend. Oh well, a girl can dream can’t she? And I am so not putting his name here, since he’s permanently on the internet. Even though I doubt that he likes blogging. Or reading blogs. But you never know. Better safe than sorry, right?

I am now back to being a happily depressed vegetable again. Or whatever.

I wonder how my friends are doing. I don’t have any of them people’s numbers since I never have my cell on me and it’s permanently off anyway. They were gonna go to Gold Reef City last week, but I couldn’t go considering the fact that I was totally wasted from not sleeping at all the night before. Since we were watching DVDs. And playing darts. And swimming.
And lying on trampolines. It was all totally innocent though. So innocent that we weren’t even playing dare. Not that I didn’t try to initiate a game, but never mind that slight detail…

I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I desperately want something, but I don’t know what it is. I was feeling totally fine a couple of minutes ago.
*Sigh*
And no. I don’t do drugs or alcohol or anything else you sick-mined people.
It’s just like I feel so empty. Like there’s something missing. Actually more like half of me is missing and my empty inside is showing like a gaping, broken easter egg. Yeah, more like that.

/me sighs again

[I used to sigh a lot when I was little. My mom said that I sounded like a sad, old woman. Maybe it is. I wouldn't know since I'm the one doing the sighing and not the one listening to it. Excuse me. I am prone to totally random thoughts. But then, this is for random rants so whatever.]

Yeah, so I’ll turn from a depressedly happy vegetable into half a broken easter egg with it’s empty inside showing. Maybe I’m bipolar, but whatever.

Your broken-easter-egg-like Sarcastic Poet