So the guy I like is officially gone now. He came to say goodbye today. For the last time. At least he looked really happy to see me. And he told me a couple of days ago that I have beautiful eyes.

My aunt and uncle are here. They were just relating the romantic story of how they met. Sometimes I wonder whether I will ever meet the right guy. Whether he even exists.
/me shrugs

And then I met this girl online. She’s currently the girlfriend of a guy who ‘adopted’ me as his sister online. The problem is, that she is totally in love with him. But she has been through some really horrible things in her life before and doesn’t want to get hurt again. Even worse, he hasn’t shown his face online for more than a week now… apparently his pc broke. And to make it worse… she declared her love for him in rl. He said that he loved her in rl too. But then his pc broke… and even though he said that he would be back by Monday, it’s Thursday and we still haven’t seen him. And then on top of this, this girl knows really mean people who do things to her that they have absolutely no right to do.
And the only thing that I can do about it is to be there for her when she needs a virtual hug or to rant or cry with or at someone. This girl has become like a sister to me and I can’t stand seeing her hurt the way that she is now. If I could just take all her hurt away, even if I had to have it, I would do it. I just can’t stand not being able to do something like this. At least, I hope I’m making a difference by being there for her. She once told me that my email made her smile the whole day and another time that I’m the friend she always needed, but never had. I hope that I’m at least making a dent in helping her somehow.

Last night was really scary. You see, my stepmom is in hospital for an operation and we went to visit. And I was just having these flashbacks. You see, my mom was a kidney patient, so she was in hospital regularly. Which meant that we were there to visit her regularly. Which means that I can find my way around pretty much any hospital seeing as I spent a large part of my primary school life in them.
So anyway… wherever we went, there were like stuff that reminded me so much of myself a couple of years back. There were like these really cute kids with their grandparents, waiting for who knows what; the typical image of me and my sister with our grandparents waiting for my mom a couple of years back.
And hospitals always seem to have these type of couches that look really pretty, but are way overstuffed and aren’t really comfortable at all. Well, we always used to sit on those playing with our parent’s cellphones while they talked. And of course the hospital was tiled. Like the hospital my mom was in when she taught us hop-scotch on the tiles. And there was the freaking pharmacy with boxes of practical jokes for sale on the counter. It was just really unsettling. And the hospital was in Pretoria, same as the one my mom was in.
I was quiet all the way back home. It’s like this just stirred up all those memories that I don’t even know whether I want or not. At times, it’s like I just want to forget it all, but I know that I can’t and somewhere deep inside I know that I don’t want to. Then I wouldn’t be me, I guess. Call me lame and emo if you want.
It was all just so tragic.

So. I still have Science to study and Maths and Bio to do. So I’ll go run a bubble bath and go sit there with my Science textbook. Then I’ll finish my summary and go to bed. Hopefully before 10:30. Over and out…

Your Local Bubble-Bath-Wanting Sarcastic Poet

It’s just, I don’t deserve this mark. It’s really good and all, but I’m not good enough to be getting that. I mean, I don’t feel very bright. I certainly don’t even act really bright. In fact, I sometimes act really blonde, full stop. It’s like I’m bordering on the brink between above-the-average and brilliant. I’m certainly not a genius (well not in my opinion anyway). I’m not a prodigy in anything (unfortunately). I’m just really bright. Which doesn’t really make me feel any better. *Sigh*

Two good things happened today. Agnes told someone that me and her are tight, which is reasonable, considering we have almost every class together, but still. The other good thing is that we bought a generator! No more computer-less nights on load-shedding. And for those who don’t know what load-shedding is, it’s when they turn off a certain area’s electricity to ensure that there is enough for the rest and that the system doesn’t overload or whatever. Don’t ask me why we’re doing that, or I’ll probably launch a whole political lecture at you. We were kinda discussing that at dinner tonight. That’s one of the good things about our family: we can discuss everything from politics to energy-crisises, to electronics to art to different body lotions. I guess that to a stranger, a night at our table could get quite interesting…lol.

And that was a really watery, depressed lol, by the way.

Bye again
Your Watery-lol Sarcastic Poet