Random Rantings of a Sarcastic Poet » electricity

cravingoxygen — Mon, 28 Apr 2008 14:27:00 +0000

HeyIt feels like my heart’s just been broken. No, it feels like my heart’s been ripped out, torn into little pieces, tossed into boiling water, cooked with a head of cabbage, filtered out, splatted onto cement and then stomped on. Yes, more like that. *sigh*

We’ve got this whole week off school ’cause of all the public holidays in it. So here I am, moping around. The light of my life is gone, the Planeshift server is down and I have piano tomorrow. *sigh again* On top of that, I can’t even have a hot bath since we’re still working from the generator. Also, I have that Bio project and a huge IT theory test. Isn’t life just great.

Enough with the pity party, it’s not going to make me feel any better is it…
So. Yeah. Um.
I’ve found this great song. It’s been on my playlist for ages and now I’ve rediscovered it. It’s called Baby Love. It’s really good. Today I Facebooked for a while, browsed around the Planeshift forums for a while seeing as their server is down, practiced piano, made an attempt at tidying my bedroom, read some of Lord of the Rings, blinked, breathed, talked, ate, etc. Nothing particularly
interesting. You might, however be interested in knowing this: my rp character is getting married! To a guy named Trakai. He is so sweet. There is this gazibo, okay and he went and mined tons of rubies and emeralds and diamonds and then decorated the whole gazibo. He also got, like, the most expensive hide in the game for us to sit on. And then he eventually proposed to Reea. How sweet is that?Not that sweet really helps against heartache, I guess. I’m not even back in school yet and I’m already miserable. I’m not very interesting today. Haven’t been for the past couple of days either. Well cry a river, build a bridge and get over it. (Thank goodness no-one’s reading this).

Well, I’m gonna go before I cause some permanent damage to ya’ll’s ears with all my whining.

Your Sarcastic Poet with a Ripped-Out-Torn-Tossed-Boiled-with-Cabbage-Filtered-Splatted-Stomped-On Heart

cravingoxygen — Thu, 24 Apr 2008 19:22:00 +0000

Yeah, I’m back again.
Have a few minutes, but not enough to planeshift, so here I am.
In case anone might be reading this, you should actually start reading my blog from the beginning, else I’ll probably seem really stuck up. Which I’m not. But no-one will read this, so I don’t know why I even bother…I honestly don’t get myself. Why on earth am I unhappy with 95% average. I mean, that’s very good. The people at school seem to have this picture of me as ‘the girl without problems,’ the one who manages to hang out with the worst people in the class and yet do the best. The girl who doesn’t have to stress about her future or her career or money. Huh! They couldn’t be further from the truth.

It’s just, I don’t deserve this mark. It’s really good and all, but I’m not good enough to be getting that. I mean, I don’t feel very bright. I certainly don’t even act really bright. In fact, I sometimes act really blonde, full stop. It’s like I’m bordering on the brink between above-the-average and brilliant. I’m certainly not a genius (well not in my opinion anyway). I’m not a prodigy in anything (unfortunately). I’m just really bright. Which doesn’t really make me feel any better. *Sigh*

Two good things happened today. Agnes told someone that me and her are tight, which is reasonable, considering we have almost every class together, but still. The other good thing is that we bought a generator! No more computer-less nights on load-shedding. And for those who don’t know what load-shedding is, it’s when they turn off a certain area’s electricity to ensure that there is enough for the rest and that the system doesn’t overload or whatever. Don’t ask me why we’re doing that, or I’ll probably launch a whole political lecture at you. We were kinda discussing that at dinner tonight. That’s one of the good things about our family: we can discuss everything from politics to energy-crisises, to electronics to art to different body lotions. I guess that to a stranger, a night at our table could get quite interesting…lol.

And that was a really watery, depressed lol, by the way.

Bye again
Your Watery-lol Sarcastic Poet

cravingoxygen — Thu, 24 Apr 2008 18:13:00 +0000

Yeah whatever.
I guess I should say hello, right?
Yeah, well, whatever.I’ve just had a series of perfectly horrible days. First of all, the local substation blew up or something, so we’ve been without power for the past couple of days. Hence me not posting. Now this means cold showers in winter, no hot chocolate, no browsing, no reading ’till late at night, no music, etc, etc, for those of you who don’t know. Yeah, well.

Secondly, I got my report. Which most people think is a good thing, considering my marks. But it’s not. My over-all average is 95%. And yes, I am in the upper three grades of high school. I should be really happy, right? But I’m not. It means that most people have even more reason to label me a freak, especially since Fishy (A guy in class) had to go and show the meanest half of the grade 11 class my report class. *Sigh*. Great.

I guess I should be really happy, but I’m not. And I can’t even blame it on exhaustion or PMS or anything any more. I don’t know why, but my marks just don’t excite me. And don’t get me wrong, I’m really proud of them and enjoy getting them, but for crying out loud!!!! Who gets that for an average?!?!?!?! It just depresses me.

And then, to crown a horrible week, the guy I like is leaving the school. He told me on Tuesday, the day that the power went off so I couldn’t even browse my worries away. At least I was the first person that he told. I’m probably the most miserable of all his friends. I couldn’t even concentrate in Accounting today. And that was some time ago. I feel so miserable. And yes, I am about to have a pity party. I’m allowed to, aren’t I? It’s not like anyone’s reading this, so here goes:
Who else am I supposed to bunk subs with? Who else am I supposed to be late for the next class with because we were doing maths? Who else am I supposed to hit over the head in Science? Who else am I supposed to race to Ma’am’s desk in Accounting. He was the one person who was never jealous of me and always just congratulated me and was nice to me and would ask me what was wrong. He was like the older brother I never had, the one I’m really in love with. I don’t know how I’m going to make it through tomorrow. Tomorrow’s the last time that I see him . Probably ever.

He’s really excited, though. I won’t give you an overview of his home situation; it’s really complex. He’s really glad to be able to get out and do his own thing and not be responsible for ten other people. And I respect him for that. He’s really looking forward to this and so, I’ll congratulate him and pretend that my freaking heart isn’t falling apart inside of me.

I better get offline. I still need to study IT. Which he’s dropping, since it’s a boarding school. Even his girlfriend isn’t as upset about this as I am, in fact, she doesn’t give a dam.

Anyway. More philosophizing tomorrow.

Your Sarcastic Poet with a Fallen-Apart Heart Inside of Her