cravingoxygen — Sun, 13 Jul 2008 10:53:14 +0000

Yeah.

So I’ll probably be around the whole day. I’ve decided to take a break from rping. And from almost every other form of internet communication including my emails, skyping and messenger. Only my blogs and facebook stays active for the next couple of days, maybe weeks. I need to get my head sorted out. As impossible as that might currently seem. And feels. And probably is. But I can try anyway. It might make me feel better.

No, don’t worry. I’m not really all that depressed. Just confused. I heard somewhere today that one of the signs of depression is loss in appetite. Well, no worries there then. I am hungry, I just don’t feel like eating. Oh great. That doesn’t sound very reassuring does it. Oh well. Deal.

I don’t know why I still bother opening up to people. All they ever do is hurt you. I should make like I use to: be friendly, but keep everyone at an arm’s length. Not that much chance of getting hurt if you do that. So I’ll just go into safe mode again, turn off the feelings and pain. Back to numbness. Which I had just managed to get over. Even though I know that being numb again is worse in the long term than feeling, I don’t even care. Numb takes everything away. Most of the time. Except in my dreams. But at least I have more than half of my 24 hours available then. I am actually mentally going through the motions of flicking switches. Switching off the sadness, the happiness, the anger, the hurt, the caring… my conscience stays though. I hate it sometimes, but I can’t bear switching it off. At least I still have that. Which means that I won’t turn into a serial killer or something. So the conscience has to stay. Don’t really mind all that much. That’s the one thing that’s always been there.

Numb again now. And still hungry. But I can’t be bothered with eating. I’ll probably be forced to later today anyway.

I don’t know how I survived without blogging the last couple of weeks. All I want to do right now is blog. I still think it’s addictive. Just googled it and the general consensus is yes. Honestly, where would we all be without google? We’d live our lives in the dark without any opinions on half of the things in the world. At least with google, we get to read other people’s opinions and then adopt them as our own (depending on who has the nicest fonts and graphics)… all in the name of education. Great isn’t it.

But back to the whole addictive thing, apparently is triggers the limbic system in the brain, which is the part of your brain that controls drives. Here’s the address if you’re interested:http://atlanta.creativeloafing.com/gyrobase/is_blogging_addictive_/Content?oid=496375

So I guess this means that you develop a ‘drive’ for blogging the same way you would for food or music (if you’re into that). Interesting.

cravingoxygen — Wed, 09 Jul 2008 14:23:00 +0000

So much for practicing piano.
/me sighs
I have that rare strain of boredom again…. so much I can and should do, but nothing that I feel like doing. I don’t want to go work. I don’t want to practice piano. I don’t want to eat, even though I’m pretty sure that I’m hungry… Don’t want to go poetry-blog-hunting. Don’t even want to go on PS.Strange how I was fine when I wasn’t blogging, but now that I’m writing again, I can’t seem to stop. Maybe it’s addictive. Like a drug. Or more like nicotine actually. Doesn’t give you a high, just makes you numb. Numb. All over. Maybe some hot chocolate will help.
/me reads that sentence again.
Oh help. Did I just say that hot chocolate might help against numbness? Then I definitely don’t have it together.
/me checks for a fever.
Nope, not that.
/me goes to make some hot chocolate anywayI have officially perfected the art of hot chocolate making. Almost as well as my two minute noodles. And since I have nothing better to do, I shall now post the instrutions here. And yes, in case you were wondering, this is pretty much the range of my cooking abilities. Apart from pancakes and toast.Hot chocolate:

First, one needs three specific types of hot chocolate powders: All Joy Hot Chocolate, Nestle Milo and Nestle Nesquik.

Get a mug, preferably not straight but ‘v shaped’ if you catch my drift. Like \_/ not |_|

Start boiling some water

Take a moment to grieve for the sanity of the person writing this while you wait for the water. Reread the sentence before the one telling you to boil the water if you don’t see a reason to mourn my sanity.

Put a really heaped teaspoon of the All Joy, a heaped teaspoon of the Milo and a regular teaspoon of Nesquik into the mug.

Fill the mug about three-quarters with boiled water (yes, boiled but not boiling. If it were still boiling you would end up with a cloud of steam in your face. You only want water that has recently been boiled).

Fill the rest of the mug up with milk

Stir

Add a regular teaspoon of sugar

Stir again

That’s it.

Now for the two minute noodles:

Put the kettle on so long

Get out the noodles, I prefer Maggi or Choice. Mostly because I can afford them and these instructions have been tested and developed (by me) specifically using these brands (I have been told that I eat too much two minute noodles. Rereading these instructions now, it seems as though those claims might not be so far-fetched after all).

Keep the noodles in the packet and take out a container. Preferably a huge mug or a triangular-shaped, micro-wave-friendly holder thingy of about 750ml.

Crush the noodles. Yes, into small pieces. Not into powder, but still into small pieces.

Empty the packet into your container and add the spices that come with it in the little shiny packets.

Add the now-boiled water to the noodles, taking care to ensure that there are no clumps of spices on the noodles. Add water until the container is about three quarters of the way full. No more, no less. Trust me.

Put the noodles in the microwave for exactly two minutes and fifteen seconds.

Leave the noodles in the microwave for about twenty minutes after the timer went off.

Grate some cheese into a plate and get out the salt and pepper while you wait.

Now you can take out the noodles and pour off the water until you have only a tiny bit of water left at the bottom. Too much water means that your cheese won’t melt properly. Too little means that your noodles will be dry.

Then you add lots of cheese, pepper and a tad of salt.

Wait for the cheese to melt.

Grieve for the writer’s lost sanity yet again

Enjoy your noodles

So there. Maybe I do eat too much two minute noodles, but what the hey. I make the best noodles around. Hm. Writing useless recipes actually helps get rid of boredom. Maybe I should patent crazy recipes as being a cure for that weird strain of boredom. I’d have to patent the weird strain of boredom first, though. If it’s even possible to patent an emotion.

Oh well. That’s it for now. Maybe I’ll post again later tonight. If I’m still in this unstable mood.
And yes, I know that this entire post was lame. Gimme a break. I’m still a vegetable at this stage.

You Local Unstable Sarcastic Poet

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