Hey everyone. I really am a lot better today. Was pretty depressed on the weekend, but I’m sort of alternating between depressed and a pensive, contemplative mood. I am enjoying this mood very much. I’m just very quiet and calm (well, pretty much as usual) but I’m not down at all (in the up stages). I’m still down in the down stages, but that’s why you call them down stages, isn’t it. And no, that was not a question, just a statement that sounded like a question, but just to be rebellious, I am going to pretend it was a statement. Isn’t that just so dangerously rebellious. Pffft.

My head is aching. I wonder why. I feel a lot better than yesterday. Yesterday I was feeling pretty crap the whole day and I’m too much of an idiot to take any pills for it. It’s just not that bad. It’s just enough to bother me all the time, but not so much that I can’t handle it. So, of course, no pills for me. Just because I like to pretend that nothing’s wrong. Whatever.
My appetite (I have been eating the last couple of days) is gone again. Completely. Today I have had about a third of a bowl of muesli for breakfast and some pretzels around 3. I’m about to have a few slices of polony because I’m seeing an abnormally high amount of sparkly things in front of my eyes and the iron should help. And they’ll probably make me eat tonight. Whatever.

Okay. So Saturday I slept till around 10, talked to Woy for a while (was really cool. I listened to him give a science lesson in Polish ) and then went to some bookstore (they were having a sale) with my grandparents. I got an MxPx cd and a book. I also managed to hustle my moms for a Jars of Clay cd this Christmas. I met one of the guys from my IT class at the bookshop. He works there, lol. I totally didn’t expect to see him there. We got talking and had a pretty decent conversation (who says I’m asocial) until his manager saw us . He nearly got into trouble, so I decided that it would be a good time to leave roundabout then. *grins* The MxPx cd is cool btw. My favourite songs are Biting the Bullet (Is Bad for Business) and Bass So Low. Really good songs. I must confess I am not into their other songs just yet. But, in my opinion, it generally works that way. You like a couple of songs, but you listen to the others too and eventually you adore the whole cd. Or, at least, it works that way for me.

Mental note to self: get those cd’s from Astrid tomorrow.
Another mental note to self: nothing so say. I just felt like making another mental note
Yet another mental note to self: ah, something to say this time. Find your timetable.

Argh. I got some gingerbeer from the fridge, but it is way too sweet. And besides, it’s on an almost empty stomach. Now there’s a nearly full glass of gingerbeer watching my every move with great malevolence because I poured it but I don’t plan on drinking it. Yeah whatever.

My head hurts.

I hope to get my hands on a decent digital camera some time. I want to try my hand at some photography.

My head is still hurting. Rock music isn’t helping. Neither is a glass of menacing gingerbeer. *sighs*

Even though it might not seem that way, I am still in a good mood.

Oh yes! How could I have forgotten that I wanted to talk about this….
Woy told his mom. Yes. He told his mom. About us. His mom. About us. I am still processing it after two days. I wonder how they got onto the subject. I mean, you don’t just walk up to your mom all of a sudden and say “Hey mom. I just thought you’d like to know…”
I am glad he told her though. Apparently she reacted quite calmly.
*yuck this gingerbeer is sweet*
I wonder what she’s thinking. Yes, I know I’m still only a teen, but the whole mother-in-law thing… I’m stressing about that somewhat. What if she thinks I’m crazy (oh wait, I am) or an idiot or hopeless at cooking Polish dishes one day or something. Yes, I am stressing about things that aren’t very important. But still. I’m stressing.

It is now some time later and my head still feels like lead. It’s also almost 10 and Woy is still not here….
/me sighs
I’m getting worried…

My finger is hurting. I wonder why.

I’m listening to this gorgeous song by Barlow Girls, called Million Voices. If you bother listening to it, pay special attention to the vocal part about two thirds of the way into the song. Stunningly done.

I look quite terrible. My hair goes all curly when the weather is rainy and I look very tired. My hair was absolutely impossible this morning. My freaking fringe wouldn’t stop curling. I eventually gave in and it ended up  making these kinks in all random directions. I was constantly trying to tame it. In vain.
I’ma turn off the lights and just sit against the wall listening to music. Maybe my headache will go away. I hope. I really hope so.

~ by cravingoxygen on October 27, 2008.